Let me tell you an anecdote. I once was kindly invited
to a Premier League Division soccer match; the game in question was Manchester
United versus Arsenal, the venue was Old Trafford. The air was moist, the
pitch was football and the crowd were present, the gentleman in the seat next
to me was none other than
the late great Robert Robson.
He seemed disinclined to enjoy himself during
the match that afternoon, but this just made me realise he was a real football
man, his eyesight did not vacate the field of play for 5,400 seconds, apart
from the brief moment I got my penis out of my trousers for a brief second,
this was due to persistent rubbing.
My choice of briefs may not have been worthy
that Saturday. But my good lord the choice of football contest was
outstanding. I felt like a born again spastic.
He made one comment to me on that fine day;
it was after the final whistle, he said “You see that son, that 90 minutes was
all about the kicking” – I was star struck to say the least, but with no
hesitation I replied “Stop right there Robson, I may look like a regular type
to you, but trust me old timer I know about kicking, so stick your job up your
arse”
I have no Idea why I uttered the latter part
of that sentence; he was not my employer, he also was not a lawyer.
After our brief exchange of dialogue, he
shook his head and looked at me as if it was 1930’s Alabama and I was a
black. He was then ushered into the VIP section, whilst I congregated
with the working class football men outside the ground; this gave me the chance
to once again adjust my penis, which had slowly changed into what I call a
football erection.
That day, my disparity about the game with a
living football legend didn’t trouble me, I knew I was right. I am a fond
lover of football and soccer and I know what kicking is. Kicking is the
most important part of the beautiful game and don’t let anyone else tell you
otherwise. A large percentage of football goals are kicked in with the
footballer’s feet.
The facts are simple; I want this imperative
message to be passed on to the young children of the game, and I want them to
remember this simple saying:
‘Kick the ball well, kick the ball as good
as you can when doing the football.’
-
Matty Rervert
